When the lovely Anna from zeitmygeist asked me to write a post for her Valentine special, I was really honoured and so excited…
For about 30 seconds…
And then the panic set in.
You see, when I trawled back through my memories, trying to recall special Valentine’s Day celebrations, I realised there weren’t any. Nor do I have any special plans for this year either!
I can hear you gasp in horror right now – or pity. This poor lady doesn’t have any Valentine’s Day memories…Is she a poor spinster? Is she unlucky in love? Is she in an unhappy marriage?
I am glad to say all of the above are wrong. Very wrong. I have a wonderful husband and we have been happily married for 11 years. I love him so much. And I know he loves me. To the moon and back.
But here’s the thing…he is not a romantic! He is funny and loyal and caring and dependable and handsome and wonderful. But not romantic.
At this point in my writing, I felt the need to check the meaning of the word ‘romance’. I didn’t want to do him a disservice. I didn’t want to make him look bad. Because I know how much he loves me. But does that count as romance?
Mr Google defines romance as this: a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
And so I found I was right (of course!) He is not romantic. In fact, now I read that definition, I realise I am not either. Yes, our relationship has some excitement (“oooh, the new series of Homeland starts this week”; “Albie slept through the night last night”; “Magnums were on half price in Tesco this week”) but not really the excitement I think google meant. And definitely no mystery!
Perhaps we lack romance because we had our children quite soon after getting married and if there is anything that can kill romance, it is children! They make mysteries impossible with their constant questioning. They make surprises impossible with their inbuilt need to reveal all. They make ‘special couple time’ impossible with the risk they may wake up and wander in your room!
Or perhaps romance is just not really us. I love the idea of romantic gestures, surprise gifts (diamonds preferably!) or mitchelin star meals, but most of these things involve spending lots of money, which with having children early on, we didn’t seem to have ever had in abundance. I try to convince my husband that little gestures are just as special – picking me up a bar of chocolate from the garage in the way home, or offering to give me a back and shoulder massage – but who am I kidding? Us ladies want the diamonds! But seriously, supposing he did rock up with a pair of diamond earrings for me on Valentine’s Day, I would only question why he had spent so much money.
So how about this year? How about a change? How can we introduce some romance? Add some mystery? Build some excitement?
Or is it really worth the effort?
Let’s be realistic…when it comes to Valentine’s Day this year, and with a new baby in our family, I think we will revert to type. Dinner together sitting up at the table (as opposed to on our laps, in front of the TV!), perhaps a nice piece of steak, cooked beautifully by my husband and a bit of late night nooky if he’s lucky!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
This post has been featured on the Zeitmygeist ‘What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?’. The full feature can be found here.
P.S. After this post was written and initially published, hubbie excelled himself with a beautiful Pandora charm and the flowers shown on the image above. Love ya Tez!